Hey Obed, howzit.

I hope all is well with Boris & Brenda. (At first I thought it was cheeky of Private Eye to call her majesty “Brenda”, but the moniker has grown on me.)Anyway, I bet you guys aren’t having half as much fun in London as we are back home.

Ah, eThekwini, though I opine our many shortcomings, at least we have an appreciation for the finer things in life. Of course, this refinement is not widely shared, especially by those miserable runts in the opposition parties.

They really are a dour bunch of Mother Grundies.They have objected to a cunning council deal that sees eThekwini in partnership with the deliciously endowed Nicki Minaj.

For fear of being compared with a lecherous party hopping councillor who we both know, I must confess to being rather taken with Ms Minaj’s curves. But then, I’m rather fond of shapely Morningside madams, as you well know.

I was delighted to read that council spent R1, 7 million of ratepayer dosh on the “partnership” with Nicki.In terms of this brilliant deal we pay for her to extend her Pinkprint tour to dear old Durbs.

In terms of the deal the city has doled out free tickets to 205 councillors.This is as it should be, Obed.The Democratic Alliance killjoys refused the free tickets. Wet blankets, we’ll party on without them.

So what if Cape Town and Johannesburg ratepayers didn’t have to pay Nicki to perform there?

According to The Times newspaper, those gigs were organised by private promoters who paid all the costs of the show.

The DA’s Heinz de Boer (the man needs to learn to boogie) was quoted saying: “We strongly objected to the city spending R1.7-million on the concert, which was double the cost for the Chris Brown concert [in April 2015], and we even objected to that amount. These are wealthy artists who come here with US dollars, and should pay for their own stadium hire and advertising.”

De Boer is a bore. Don’t Durban’s detractors realize we’re different down here in the kingdom?

We take our cue from the honourable Umshini wami and his good friends the Guptas. If you want something, just take it. If you want a bigger house, just build it. Someone else will pay. If you want a new finance minister, just get one, it’s too easy.

eThekwini spokeswoman Tozi Mthethwa has the right idea. She says tickets for councilors are part of the partnership agreement with the event organisers.The fact that the city has development priorities is not the point.

City councillors need to relax.

Politics is exacting work: you sit around all day exercising your mouth.

Politicians are well paid but they have to have lots of meetings, so they deserve to party for free.

I’m tired of the DA complaining about everything. They had a hissy fit when the comrades wanted to spend R160 000 sending a delegation of councillors on a three-day cruise on the Sinfonia, to Portuguese Island in Mozambique.

Eish, there was so much bellyaching about that freebie that it was cancelled. And do you now what, Obed, it was cancelled after comrades in Cosatu or the SACP eventually sided with the DA? The treachery!

James cancelled the trip and dear tongue-tied Tozi had already gone to great lengths to justify it.Sometimes I worry about our democracy. This week James was said he was deeply concerned that disgruntled council bodyguards disrupted an EXCO meeting to protest salary issues. They weren’t the only ones who pitched up at EXCO. There were representatives of a rogue business forum demanding to know why they weren’t getting city tenders. If James is so vexed, maybe he should just get rid of the bodyguards.

We don’t need them, except perhaps to protect councillors from villains who demand tenders. Ah well, such is life in a country led by a man of dubious moral character and a party that can’t stand up to him.

I leave you with this pearl: penned by your mate Boris.

He said this of Tony Blair, though guess who it applies to in SA?“It is just flipping unbelievable. He is a mixture of Harry Houdini and a greased piglet. He is barely human in his elusiveness. Nailing Blair is like trying to pin jelly to a wall.”

Have a flash weekend, boet!